Week 3

So, I wrote a giant long post on this past and subsequently deleted it... yay Karen!

So, the gist of this past week: First half, sucked balls. Second half, much better. We had a service project on Thursday with Timberland called Serve-a-palooza (I sh*t you not) in Lawrence (45ish min away). I really enjoyed and it was the first time I really felt that my team worked well together.

I got my school assignment, which was my last choice. Mainly this was because it's the least safe neighborhood in probably all of Boston. Oh well. I did finally get some training on Friday, but I'm still unsure of what my school teacher will want from me specifically... My hope is that it'll come together once I get there.

I'm also starting to find my niche within the corps... I have friends. I even went to a party on Saturday - where my dear friend from South Carolina exclaimed his surprise that I, as a Jew, can dance. I showed him otherwise... hehehe

But yeah, I have less than a week left before I need to memorize the pledge, get my red jacket, have Opening Day, and a lot of other stuff that I don't even know about yet.

Into the woods...

So, I spent this past week in the woods. On Tuesday morning at about 7am, we left Copley for a three hour drive to Western Mass... on school buses. You can imagine how happy I was with that (albeit, I did not get sick).

So, after we get there and after a brief orientation, they give us our teams for the year... Only, they give us each puzzle pieces and tell us "Find your group." I got Civics in Action, which was my third choice (behind the Saturday service programs for middle & high school students). I will be teaching 8th graders about civics. I haven't gotten much more info beyond that, because that's not what the retreat was about.

Tuesday night, we did an exercise about priviledge. They lined us up shoulder to shoulder. Depending on the statement, we'd either step forward or backward... Guess who, with her female, queer, working class, disabled status ended up towards the back? My only priviledge, of course, is my white skin...

Which of course made Wednesday morning's workshop on racism incredibly uncomfortable. After being a part of ICWES, that's all discussions of race do for me. I'm glad CY does not take the accusatory approach that ICWES did, but I'll always have the thought in the back of my mind that no matter what I say/do/think, it'll always be trumped by my white skin and that everyone who isn't white is judging me for it. I really want to yell at DR & the other girls for f***ing me up so much...

Alright, digression over. Wednesday night was a bit harder... We discussed sexism. As much as I feel I have progressed over sexism, I feel confronted by the reality that not everyone has and, unfortunately, this is something that holds me back. The guys in my group were amazing - I could actively see them opening their minds and changing their opinions based on the stories we all told. I'm proud of the courage the girls had in telling their stories (myself included); however, I'm not sure the internalized sexism went away at all. That night, a bunch of the girls from my cabin were boys-this, boys-that... Drove me crazy. It's like no one had listened to themselves talk about how much they had been controlled by men and the resulting standards of women set by the patriarchy. *sigh*

Thursday morning was the heterosexism workshop. This was the hardest one for me to do. Not because it brought back painful memories or that the CMs were homophobic, but because of the organization of it. Those leading the discussion set up a gay-straight dichotomy. Yeah, I felt actively excluded. I understand the need to start a basic level for everyone, but it was incredibly frustrating for me. I'm sick of teaching everyone to be accepting of gays, when I'm not even gay. I just wish we had had the ability to have a more complex conversation than what was had. After the workshop, I did get a number of pats on the back from CM and SCM for bringing it up, but then no one spoke up for me during the workshop. I'm still not sure how willing CY admin is to embracing my lifestyle, but whatev...

Thursday afternoon, classism. I felt it was a little rushed (everything had been running really late all week and I think it was finally caught up with us). While we got some basic statistics (rates of poverty, HS graduation in the city of Boston, insurance, etc), we didn't discuss them all that much. Also, my concern is that we have yet to talk about how classism and ageism (and educationalism - is that a word? well, now it is) affects our attitudes towards the communities we serve. While I'm going to try my hardest, I realize that the temptation to act in a paternalistic manner is going to be great. I come to CY with my college degree, my 22 years of life, and having been originally raised in a upper-middle class household (albeit, that hasn't been true for years, but the mentality of my parents' status as academics still exists within me). I acknowledge that it will affect my service. Every single day, I have to consciously be aware to NOT be paternalistic and/or condescending.

Friday was mostly a wrap-up day. Honestly, a lot of it has faded and I presume this is because it didn't have too much of an impact on me... Also, I came down with the CY plague that day (*sniffle*). The one thing I remember is the Community Meeting, where I definitely felt talked at. However, I realize that it was our first one and that future ones will be more interactive and informative. Its purpose is for the whole Corps to come together and learn about what everyone has been doing at their service sites... Since we have all been doing the same thing, there wasn't much to talk about, save the structure of the meeting.

And lastly, we boarded a bus back home, where I've been attempting to get over my cold... woot!

Week 1

So, I made it through my first week of City Year. It was long, intense, fun, exciting, over-stimulating, and a variety of other feelings.

In some ways, CY has felt like freshmen orientation. There have been icebreakers and team building games. There has also been lengthy, power-point lectures on rules and regulations. And, of course, extremely awkward moments with new people. The two major differences between NSO and CY are:

1. I get paid about $200/wk (as opposed to shelling out about $40,000)
2. CY is socially-minded.

In other senses, it's more like going abroad or joining the military. There's a whole new culture to not only learn about, but also to embrace. I have a month to become a City Year Corps Member. I need to learn the vocabulary and proper responses to certain questions/phrases, the CY pledge, all of the Unity Rally exercises, etc etc. I wear a uniform which must be worn in a very specific way. All of this is double-checked during "readiness check" ("Boots or Shoe! Black or White Socks! Pressed Pants! Belt! Shirt Tucked In! Name Tag! Heart! Mind! Soul!"). Of course, this isn't the military (altho, we are fighting for social justice) and not a foreign country (Sweden was never this welcoming).

Today was a bit of a change of pace. Instead of spending time in the office, listening to lectures or playing team-building games, we actually got to do service today (holla!). They split the 140 of us among 3 sites. Our site was all painting. My "Crazy" Team (temporary team until we get our permanent assignments next week) was outside doing maintenance painting on 2 four-square courts, 3 hopscotches, a kickball field, and a mural of the USA... We learned a valuable lesson today: the capital of Missouri is not St. Louis, but Jefferson City. It was exciting and I got to spend more time talking with people.

On a more personal note, I'm making friends. I'd rather not go into the details of these people in this forum (in case any of them run across my blog). Let's go with the general: I've really clicked with a few CMs (one of them perhaps too much, which is bad because he's Wex-reincarnate... yeah, no dating/relationships for me this year... "Single & Free!" I say). Others I've had some trouble connecting with... I get kind of a bad vibe from them, but I'm open to this changing. And then there's everyone else: people who I've met & want to know more and people who I haven't met.

Next week is the Basic Training Retreat (BTR). We're going out to W. Mass for 4 days. Rumour has it that even the most non-teary people cried last year... I cry a the drop of a hat... I'm bringing an entire box of tissues. More to follow... hopefully even pictures.

The Background

Alright, more of an official post this time.

I got accepted into City Year way back in December. Luckily, I had my last semester at college and my 55-page thesis to distract me from my anxiousness. Lately, however, I've been really anxious. Maybe it was the fact that things were getting closer to starting or the fact that when my ex, well, became my ex, I lost my only face-to-face human connection in this area.

But enough of that. The point is I'm wicked excited to be starting tomorrow. This is exactly what I want to do with my life. I want to work with inner-city kids and education and build better and strong communities. I see this year as a means of breaking into the field and gaining experience so that I can go on to grad school.

City Year has had two events for us so far. First, we had a registration day. It was mostly filling out paperwork and getting fitted for our uniforms, so I didn't really get to meet many people. We did have a meet & greet party the last Monday where I got to meet some people. I was mostly amused by the Hawaii-theme... It was like being an awkward freshmen at orientation all over again (especially because my NSO theme was luau). It's still going to be a few more weeks before I feel comfortable.

Alright, that's it for now... Wish me luck on my first day.

Allow me my indulgence

So, I thought as a means to record and process my City Year experiences, I would keep a blog... For those of you who know me, I'll try to be more diligent than I was with my Swedish LJ, which should be easier as I a) have regular internet access, b) won't be distracted by an unfamilar city to explore, and c) I have no homework and I'll need to exercise my brain.

This is my scant introduction... I'll post something more CY related soonish.